Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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