do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
