I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
