oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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