The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
