You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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