It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
