We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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