a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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