Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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