Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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