I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize