On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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