He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
