It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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