she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize