gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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