i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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