and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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