Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
