I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
How external is "for external use only"?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
