that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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