I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
