Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
