I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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