I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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