i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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