ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
