So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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