She's JV to your varsity
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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