I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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