I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
