i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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