Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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