Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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