how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
