well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
