Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
