I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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