so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
