Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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