Non-Jews are for practice
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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