just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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