3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
