yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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