And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
