could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
