rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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