Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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