I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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