I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize