Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
