She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
vagina is talking i cant
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
