i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
