Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
