my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
