I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
