When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
