he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
