You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
