Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
