VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
