his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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