Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize