I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
