He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
