Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
