i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
