i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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