dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
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Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
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Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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