new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
