On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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